Herra's Blog
Welcome to a personal exploration of the BDSM world, where curiosity, vulnerability, and discovery intersect. This blog captures the questions I’ve asked, the thoughts that have shaped me, and the moments that have challenged and inspired me along the way. It’s not a guide, but a reflection, a space to share the evolving journey into kink, connection, and self-understanding.
Craving the Space Between:
There is a silence that lives between BDSM scenes. It is not merely the lack of sound; instead, it is a quiet pulse, a world of desire, memory, and nervous expectation. For both the Dominant and the submissive, this interlude can become a sense of either sanctuary or...
Thoughts during Dom Drop
To be a Dominant in the BDSM lifestyle generally comes with the expectation that you are always confident, in control, and sure. Yet behind this confident exterior, I like a number of Doms, have several insecurities that are hard to express, especially in a culture...
“Understanding Sub Drop” and “and How Dominants Can Help Submissives Recover”
In the world of BDSM and the power exchange dynamics, the scenes between Dominants and submissives can be intensely dramatic, both physically and emotionally. While these scenes usually leave the submissive feeling empowered and cathartic, they also carry the risk of...
“Subspace”
I was asked recently to describe or explain subspace. Now being a Dom, that's something that I have never personally experienced but below is my understanding of it: Subspace, as used within BDSM culture, describes a peculiar, altered state of mind one experiences as...
“So You’re Watching a Scene”
Public kink spaces are designed to foster exploration, education, and community. Scenes involving sadism and masochism can be intense, intimate, and deeply personal experiences shared by consenting adults in negotiated dynamics. As an observer, your presence is a...
“What the Dominant Gains in a D/s Relationship”
For a person who has taken on the role of a Dominant in a consensual BDSM relationship, few things can be said to be as profoundly gratifying and as unbelievably rewarding as being able to witness firsthand the growth, flourishing, and phenomenal transformation of...
“What Is the Essence of a Dom/Sub Dynamic?”
At its core, a Dominant/submissive (Dom/sub) dynamic is not about dominating someone for dominating's sake — it's about trust, communication, and consensual power exchange. Even when it looks at times like it's one person commanding and the other obeying, the...
Why wait till my older years to become a Dom, a reflection.
Now, at age 59, I can look back with a clarity I simply didn't have in my earlier life. And with that clarity comes a difficult, but necessary realisation: if I had taken on the role of a Dominant in those times, I would not have been a good one. In real life, I...
Starting out on my journey as a Dom.
Becoming a Dom has been an intricate and deeply personal journey for me, filled with self-discovery, growth, and a deeper understanding of both myself and my sub. While the idea of dominance might seem straightforward, my experience has taught me that it involves...